


Coming Home

by bisexualcyborg



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-18
Updated: 2013-04-18
Packaged: 2017-12-08 21:02:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/765969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualcyborg/pseuds/bisexualcyborg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a memorable argument, Sirius is disowned by his family because he tells them he's gay. He also is in love with Remus. How will Remus react to this revelation? *Written for "Tim Burton Competition" (won 3rd place) and "No Using 'The' Competition" over at HPFC*<br/>Possible trigger warning for suicidal thoughts (and homophobia).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coming Home

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for Cheeky Slytherin Lass’ “Tim Burton Competition” and blurred motion’s “No Using ‘The’ Competition” over at HPFC. For the former, I got the quote “Tell me, dear, can a heart still break once it’s stopped beating?” from Corpse Bride; for the second, I could only use the word ‘the’ ten times in the entire fic (I didn’t even use it once!), and I got the quote “Pads, we shouldn’t be doing this, it’s not right...”

Once upon a time, there were four friends, four Marauders, living a simple, joyous life. Playing Quidditch, pulling pranks on innocent and unsuspecting Slytherins, mooning after one Lily Evans, reading books and indulging in unhealthy amounts of chocolate, terrorizing kitchen house-elves every other night, studying, though with varying degrees of assiduity, transforming in more or less savage, rampaging beasts once a month... Nothing unusual.   
Then everything suddenly became complicated. Things tend to get complicated around Sirius Black, especially when emotions are involved. And boy, were emotions involved. Sirius had been struggling with them for about a year now, and it was not getting any better. It was actually even getting worse. Since April of his Fourth Year, Sirius had started to ask himself questions about his feelings for Remus. He had slowly started to realize that his extreme protectiveness and concern of Moony were much more than sheer friendship. It had been very hard for Sirius to come to terms with this realization, and it had caused him to be very difficult to deal with lately. His friends had realized this, but as they were at loss for a reason for his behaviour, they didn’t know how to bring it to an end. So Sirius kept being mercurial, alternating between morose moping and exuberant elation, and his fellow Marauders kept trying to adjust to his mood swings.

Then one day, everything literally exploded. It was during summer holidays, between Fifth and Sixth Year. Sirius was at home, if he could still call 12 Grimmauld Place “home”, which he could honestly barely bring himself to do anymore. Orion, Walburga, Sirius and Regulus were all waiting for supper to be served by an ever-grumbling Kreacher, when Orion suddenly turned towards his eldest son.   
“Sirius. Your mother and I have been thinking. You will become of age this year, and it’s past time you were finally betrothed.”   
Sirius’ spoon clattered as it fell onto his solid silver plate. “What did you just say?”  
Orion was not impressed by his son’s clearly hostile manner. “I said we have to arrange a suitable alliance for you. You are, after all, much as I regret it, my heir, and it’s only appropriate that, as such, you’d make a good marriage.”  
“Marriage?! Father, I’ve only just turned sixteen!”  
“Your father and I got engaged when I was thirteen, and married on my seventeenth birthday.” Walburga declared. “We’ve thought of Victoria Burke as a possible candidate.”  
Sirius spluttered: “Bu... But she’s about twelve years older than me, and ugly as sin at that!”  
“She’s only twenty-four. But if she doesn’t offer satisfaction, there’s always Emily Selwyn.”  
“As if that’s any better! Alright, she’s only a year younger than me and she’s quite pretty, but I have still to see any evidence that there actually is a brain under all that shiny hair of hers!”  
“Who cares about age, looks or intelligence? They are of ancient pureblood lineage, that’s all that counts! But if you’re so set on agreeable company, how about Elisabeth Fawley?”  
“Mother, I think what you don’t realize here is that I have no intention at all to let you marry me off to anyone, agreeable company or not!”  
“You with your ridiculous Gryffindor values. You’ll marry a Pureblood girl we pick for you, and that’s that. You’re lucky we gave you an opportunity to give your opinion at all!”  
Sirius stood up violently, making his chair fall over: “I will not marry any girl!”  
Walburga raised an elegant eyebrow: “Oh? And why’s that, if you please?”  
“Because I’m gay, that’s why!”   
Walburga blinked: “I beg your pardon?”  
“I’m gay! Homosexual, bent, a ponce, a shirtlifter, a poof, a sodomite, I fucking like BOYS, you hear me?!” Sirius roared.  
That’s when chaos broke loose. Kreacher, who’d just been coming in with supper, spilled soup all over an expensive carpet. Regulus fell from his chair. Orion rose, seething, screaming: “No son of mine! No son of mine is a filthy, disgusting abomination of nature!”  
But it was Walburga’s reaction that was really worrying. She, who was so infamous for her wild bouts of screaming and screeching rage, very calmly took out her wand and pointed it at her son. Eerily cold and collected, she took three steps until they were almost standing nose to nose. Her wand still pointed on his heart, she stated: “Get out of this house this very instant. And don’t ever come back.”  
Sirius spun on his heel and exited, his mother’s wand still pointing at his back. He kick-started his Menace (dubbed so by Remus, who was irrationally scared of Sirius’ beloved motorbike), and finally left 12 Grimmauld Place, determined to, for once in his life, obey his mother’s orders and never ever come back.  
***

Sirius was soaked through. It had been pouring incessantly while he had been flying from London to Potter Manor and his usually gleaming Menace was all mud-splattered chrome and squelchy leather. He had hardly dismounted his noble steed when James, warned by said noble steed’s unmistakable purring, came running outside:  
“Padfoot, mate, what’s going on? What are you doing here? I wasn’t expecting you for another week!”  
“I left, Prongs. Forever. They disowned me.”  
James gaped at him : “Oh fuck Sirius, what happened?”  
“Can we just... not talk about it, James?”  
“I... yeah, yeah sure. Come inside.”  
James preceded his friend into his house. His mother, who was reading “Transfiguration Today” in a plush velvet couch, looked up from her magazine when her son entered, followed by Sirius. It took only one meaningful glance for her to understand what was going on.  
“Oh Merlin, Sirius, you’re soaking! Come on, dear, I’ll run you a bath and get you some dry clothes. James, heat up some soup and try not to set anything on fire.”  
“In a sec, Mom, I’m owling Moony first.”  
Sirius visibly tensed, but didn’t object. He followed Mrs Potter upstairs, not speaking a single word.

When he came down, warm, clean and dry, dressed in some of James’ Muggle clothes that were more than a size too small for him, Remus was waiting for him, staring absentmindedly at his bowl of steaming soup. When he heard Sirius’ familiar footsteps he leapt up and launched himself at his friend, enveloping him in a fierce hug.  
“Oh God Padfoot, are you alright?” he whispered into ebony hair.  
“Moony...” A soft sobbing sigh and muscular arms squeezing him too tight answered his question.  
“Shhhh... You’ll be okay, Pads, it’ll be alright. I promise. We’ll take care of you. You’ll be fine.”  
Remus held Sirius for a very long time, rubbing soothing circles on his back and murmuring words of comfort in his ear until his friend’s quiet, strangled sobs finally subsided. James was standing a few yards away from them, leaving them be. He knew Sirius needed supportive, comforting, understanding, touchy-feely Remus right now; James himself would be loud and fun and hyperactive when Sirius got to that stage.

***

Nearly twenty-four hours had passed since Sirius’ arrival, and he still hadn’t spoken a word about what happened with his parents. James was getting worried: despite his several tentative of getting his friend to talk to him, his only answer was a flippant: “Nevermind, Prongs, I’m better off without them anyway.” As much as James agreed with this statement, he could see Sirius was hurting, and wanted to do something about it. He figured that, even if Sirius didn’t want to talk to him, he might be less opposed to talking to Remus. So James went to find his other best friend, who was reading a book under an apple tree.   
“Remus?”  
“Yes, James?”  
“Did you try to talk to Sirius?”  
“Not yet. I’m giving him some time to digest what happened. I take it you tried and failed?”  
“Yeah, kinda. But I think, if you tried, you might be more successful. You’ve always been more psychologically attuned than us.”  
“As if that’s an achievement, with you band of oblivious gits to compare with.”  
“Moony, I’m being serious here – no, don’t, that joke got old ages ago -...”  
“I wasn’t going to, Prongs, my sense of humour is not that abysmal. I know you were being serious, and I know Sirius needs help. I’ll talk to him. I blame you if he kills me for interfering.”  
“He won’t kill you, Moony. Maybe just beat you up a bit, but you can take it, can’t you, with your wolfy super strength?”  
“If you don’t shut you big mouth right now, Prongs, I’ll show you some wolfy super strength.”  
“Shutting up.” James flashed Remus a mischievous grin. “Wouldn’t want you to go all feral on poor little old me –ouch ouch, nonononono don’t, please Remus!”  
“Beg for mercy, Potter.” Remus fake-growled.   
He had pounced on his friend and was initiating a playful wrestle match, which James was well aware he would lose. But his Gryffindor pride also refused to let him beg. Thus, he went for distraction instead.  
“Remus! Oi! Much as I’d like to beg for you,” he shot his friend a leery smirk, “there’s a poor abandoned mutt upstairs who needs your help.”  
Amazingly, his distraction worked. Well, it might have been James’ disturbing innuendo, but anyway, Remus released his friend and scrambled up.  
“Yes, well. Wish me luck, Prongs.”  
“You don’t need it, Moony, you’re great at those kinds of things.”  
“If you say so...”

***

Upstairs, Sirius was sitting on James’ bed, absent-mindedly flicking through an old Quidditch magazine. When Remus came in, he looked up and smiled at him:  
“Hey Moony! Did you know Michael Hayes used to play for my beloved Cannons before he transferred to those blasted Tornadoes?”  
“No, I didn’t. Then again, that’s not really surprising, isn’t it? I’m not really a Quidditch expert, and that’s putting it mildly.”  
“But you know everything, Moony! Everything!” Sirius whined, then winked at his friend.  
Remus sat down next to Sirius: “You have too much faith in my omniscience, Padfoot.”  
“Ah, but you’re so faith-inspiring, Moony, with all your books and essays and stuff. They make you look so knowledgeable.”  
“I am knowledgeable about books and essays, Pads.” Remus grinned, “Just not about Quidditch and... other stuff.”  
“What other stuff?” Sirius asked.  
“For example...” Remus looked up into stormy grey eyes, “about what happened at your house yesterday that’s making you so upset.”  
Sirius tensed and shifted his gaze: “I... Moony, they disowned me. Of course I’m going to be upset. I mean, they’re my fucking family! Aren’t they supposed to love me no matter what?”  
Remus laid a hand on Sirius’ shoulder: “It’s completely normal for you to be upset, Pads. Even if you disagreed on many things, they were, indeed, still your family and I can’t even begin to imagine how hurt and betrayed you’re feeling right now. But you were expecting it, Sirius, and you know James’ parents love you more than yours ever did, and you love them too. So I think something else happened that upset you to this extent.”  
Sirius drew a shuddering breath: “I... I don’t know if I can tell you, Moony. I’m afraid you’ll react like they did. I... I’m afraid you’ll hate me.” He looked down at his toes.  
Remus brought a hand to Sirius’ face and turned it back towards his own: “I could never, ever hate you, Padfoot. I swear.”  
Sirius struggled not to look away: “They were talking about marrying me off to some Pureblood girl. And I said I wouldn’t. And when they asked me why I reacted like such a fucking Gryffindor! I let my emotions overrule me and I didn’t think of lying. I... Damn it all, why is this so hard? I... I’m gay, Moony. And I told them that. And they kicked me out.”  
Remus grew wide-eyed, then instinctively embraced his friend: “Oh Merlin Sirius, you accepted my lycanthropy, how could you even for one second think I would hate you because you like boys?”  
“Because... Because I think – no, actually I’m pretty sure – I’m in love with you, Moony.”  
And all of a sudden Remus was kissing him and he was kissing back and everything grew kind of fuzzy as his world seemed to start spinning around uncontrollably. And then hands were roaming everywhere and whispered words of love and wanting filled his ears and clothes were starting to get discarded and then suddenly, everything grew still. Remus had pulled away from him.  
“Pads, we shouldn’t be doing this, it’s not right...”  
Hearing those words, Sirius fled. Out, up, higher, second floor, third floor, fourth floor, library tower, with its huge windows. Sirius swung one of them open and climbed unto its waist-high sill, marble cold underneath his bare feet. It would only take one step, one tiny little step to end all this pain.  
But Remus was right behind him and when he shrieked: “Sirius, NO!”, his resolution faltered. He looked over his shoulder into terrified amber eyes:   
“Tell me, dear, can a heart still break once it’s stopped beating?”  
Remus took two steps towards him, whispering fearfully: “No, Sirius, please no, please don’t. Why would you do that? Why would you do that to me?”  
“I just lost my parents, my brother, my home, Remus. If I’m going to lose you too there’s really not enough left in this world for me anymore.”  
Remus looked genuinely puzzled: “But what makes you think you’re going to lose me, Padfoot? You just told me you loved me and I fucking kissed you! How could that make you think something like that?”  
“But you said what we were doing was wrong, Moony. If you think my feelings for you are wrong, how could you ever want to stay with me?”  
“Oh Merlin, that’s what you think? Oh Padfoot, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it that way! Of course I don’t think your feelings for me are wrong! I love you too, Pads, I thought that would have been obvious when I kissed you! I just... I just got freaked out because suddenly we were removing our clothes and... and I’m really not experienced about that kind of stuff and everything was going too fast and that wasn’t what I wanted for us. That was what I meant by “not right”, Padfoot, I meant I want to take my time with you, not rush things like we were doing it. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”  
Sirius was staring at Remus, looking completely gobsmacked: “You... you love me back?”  
“Yes I do, you stupid thick melodramatic mutt! Now come down that window sill before you give me a freaking heart attack.”  
He extended his arms towards Sirius, who took his hand and awkwardly step-jumped into his embrace. Volatile as ever, he smirked at Remus:   
“Does that mean I can kiss you again?”  
“You can kiss me whenever you want, Pads.” Remus grinned.  
“I’m so going to hold you to that, Mr. Moony!” Sirius laughed gleefully.  
And then their lips met again, slow and tentative at first, then more bold and sensual. Sirius pushed Remus backwards and they stumbled three clumsy steps until they fell into a plush armchair, Sirius climbing onto Remus’ lap, never breaking their kiss.   
For both of them, it felt like coming home.

Fin

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, this was hard. Gah. You try writing a fic that’s over 2500 words long and does not include the word “the”. Thoughts?


End file.
